bend in the river

Forever music

2009-02-25T10:55:00.000-08:00

Endless, these rhythms
The roar of the scorching blaze
The sigh of the cooling embers
The silent, shuddering smoke
Drifting forlornly into the night

All it needs
All it takes
Is a hopeful spark
A determined breeze
To stir into being
The music of the flames

Back again
To the beginning
Of the end

Time and again

2008-09-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

Where there once were numbed senses
Now lies tumultuous anticipation

What use the lessons of pain
We never seem capable of learning

Such is the magic
Of desire
Such is its curse

The only redemption
Is to fall again

Whirls in time

2008-08-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

Under the vaulted domes
As the cool silence hummed
Your eyes roamed
The finely etched walls
Calm and ecstatic
While I was blind to the splendour around
Onto you my gaze remained
I was fast getting drunk on you

Then amongst the splendid ruins
As the afternoon
Made short the shadows
The sun was in
your brown melting gaze
And my skin was seared

Ageless the memory
Of your laughter
Deep, unfettered
I dance in its cadence
A dervish in infinite swirls

Lost, and found
So lost again

Time to infinity

2008-06-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

The distance we travel
Stumbling tumbling fumbling
Swung around this
mindless cacophonic kaleidoscope

Several heartbeats cramped
In the iridescent noise

Waiting craving seeking
To dissolve into
an infinite moment
Of cool shimmering silence

No escape

2008-06-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

I impale you with words
And feed off your anger
Such is the beast
That drives me

If I gave you
The respite that you seek
What of my demons
Will you slay them for me?

Epiphany

2008-04-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

We are
What we want
What we seek

Something will give way soon
For defiance is a potent spring

Right under the dead weight of these stones
A swift current will rush forth

The wise
The ones who know
Smile and watch

In translation

2008-03-30T05:43:00.000-07:00

It does not become you
That your abode be
On the domes
of the palaces of the Sultans

You are an eagle
Make your nest
On the rocks
on the mountain peaks

Shallow waters

2008-03-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

Sway me a river
This wellspring
Threatens to run dry

Hear now

2008-02-14T07:47:00.000-08:00

The ghosts have begun
To speak to her again
Voices from once upon a time
Silent whispers imagined and gone

You, O traveller
Are the destination

Being unbeing

2007-12-16T00:16:00.000-08:00

Some place in time, now
I lie prone in my arms
Slain by my thoughts
My breath suffocates me
Worlds churn in my head
I am everywhere
I am all in me

Unconquered

2007-10-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

If I would deign to worship
it would be that spirit
Which hears in the clanging swords
The rhythm of prayer

Which even as the blood colours the sands
And the evening sky fills the eyes
Bends the dying rays
Into a painting of tomorrow.

Back again

2007-10-15T19:56:00.000-07:00

Life is a loop, isnt it
This is the same place
and it isnt.

Memories have receded from here
On these now bare walls
A new story
Waits to be written

The old new

2007-06-05T06:42:00.003-07:00

In my dreams I sometimes visit
The world of the gaunt-faced hollow-eyed
While buried dormant words from the past
Break free toss scatter around
Unfulfilled promises, unresolved guilt
Tug and call out beseechingly

The wind is thick and swirling
with debris from long ago
The walls of the long, wide corridor
are fuzzy, the floor uneven
beneath my unsteady feet
The only thought that holds me
Is to walk, walk, keep walking
One step after another
To the corridor’s end
Where I must find you-me

Walk till I stand before me
Look into eyes that
have made their peace
Look till that even gaze
Reassures me that nothing is final
Its never too late, that
there is always one more chance
Wake up.

Nothing further beyond

2007-05-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

What now, after
The frenzy, the rage
Is spent

No, I
Don’t feel empty

Yes, you
Don’t move me

Anymore

And again

2007-05-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

The pilgrim begins
the journey
Again
May the passion remain
a steadfast companion

Truth be told

2007-04-24T03:28:00.000-07:00

In the beginning
For some time
My unsuspecting little schemer
I would give you
A long rope
Great slack
Then stand back
and watch

I know just how
This will unfold
Every single time
I am never disappointed

When the time is past
And you have tied
yourself down
in knots
and I have had
my fun
I would then
Draw pull
tug snap
The ties that bind

Leave you broken
Ensnared in your own mind
Buried under your own hubris
Was it worth it?

In a fog

2007-03-30T01:58:00.000-07:00

Shh..
Don’t say a word
I can’t think
Cant reply

Stay where you are
Silken threads
Weave under skin
and tug

Don’t move
One touch and
I’ll crumble
Dissolve

It is getting difficult
to breathe
to stay standing

Could a moment
Of clarity
Lift the fog
Don’t know
Cant think

In pursuit

2007-03-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hair matted with blood
Blood flying off his flanks
Wounded, battle weary, victorious
He thunders past on his steed
Flying one with the wind

Not too far behind
Shadows stay in pursuit

And now

2007-02-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

I
Wander around
Aimless
Fragmented thoughts
Crowd my head

I am not despairing
I am not complaining
I quite like this feeling

I
Feel weak
Languorous
And alive
Its been a while

Footprints in the sand

2007-01-24T07:16:00.000-08:00

Sand, my heart
Your footprints will not remain

Blurred
When the warm breeze arrives

Obliterated
When the waves come
Once the tide turns

Orange, Yellow, Lime

2007-01-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

Warm thoughts
Explosions of color
On the canvas of my mind

All in the mind

2006-12-20T04:32:00.000-08:00

Golden moments
Silver tears
Expectations and their deaths

Twisted this way and that
In and out

Come throug the fog
Smash the milky glass
Draw off the veil

Close your eyes
What were you searching for?
Its all in the mind.

Sometimes

2006-12-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

I have often stood
At the edge of my mind
Just beyond, there is
Sometimes a bed of flowers
Sometimes dark sea

Whispers

2006-11-26T05:56:00.000-08:00

I want to speak my mind
Say the words such that
They drift down
Like soft snowflakes
Melting away, gone
Before you can be sure
What they meant
Wonder if
They were spoken at all

Mind over time

2006-11-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

If I could morph time
I would turn this moment
Into a stark tableaux
Dress it with an edgy song
And place it centre stage in my mind

Visit it whenever
I am inclined to wallow
In my dark corners
Stand outside of it and see
The space I occupy
The worlds I fill

The acquaintance renewed
I will move on

Darkness

2006-10-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

Darkness is the perfect companion
for it brings with it
the silence of the jungle
and the calm of a deep, still lake

Thoughts cannot voice themselves
for it is forbidden to break
the stillness, the silence.

There is thus nothing to do
but to slip gently
into its womb
Let go

Look again

2006-10-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

What a seductive mirage you create
With your arresting face
Lithe, wiry limbs
Weaving magic with your voice and eyes

I wish for you
To find mirrors at every turn
So you are faced, every moment
With the truth
Of how vile you really are

Leaves in the wind

2006-10-22T14:13:00.000-07:00

Restless, thrumming
Like leaves fluttering in a strong breeze
A little more, and I shall break

Then, the glorious freefall
Unfettered, powerless
Carried on a whim
More demanding than mine

Captive, yet free
For I chose
the chains that hold me

Muse away

2006-10-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

Empty pages
Jumbled, incoherent thoughts

Infernal blankness of the clueless mind

Wise Eyes

2006-10-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

She stood quietly at the street corner
Watching and being watched
I remember her eyes

World weary
Seeing-all-knowing
not sad
not defeated
yet.

Eyes that reflected
more unsparing than any mirror
Difficult to face

Eyes that saw all
Nothing held a surprise
Eyes that understood
But didn't empathise

Traded glances with them
Turned quickly
Walked swiftly away

They have remained
like bruises on my soul
Indifferent Wise Eyes

The storm and the Sea

2006-10-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

Translation of an Urdu couplet:

May god make you intimate with a storm
For there is no disturbance in the waves of your sea

X-ed out

2006-09-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

Hey you
Cynical, sarcastic
Contemptuous, superior
Cavalier, indifferent
Condescending, uncaring

You
who mocks the very things
you secretly covet

I wish I could say
(It would be kinder)
That you amuse me

But the brutal truth is
You are beyond pity
I couldn’t care less
If you didn’t exist

Spell

2006-09-21T06:10:00.000-07:00

Your gaze
bruising, direct
Burns
Hypnotises

Your voice
Golden Ivy
Wraps around
Traps

When you move
I feel like prey
Hunted

The spell is cast

Then. Now

2006-09-16T05:24:00.000-07:00

Was existing before you came
Now I am alive

Was needy, restless
Then I partook of this
Now I want more

Want you
to be hungry for me

Stay. Away.

2006-09-16T04:39:00.000-07:00

I know to read your face
I know you will come to me
I know what you are going to say
I know what you want to do

Before you rip your heart from your chest
Before you place it before me
Before I squeeze it dry
Before you are ruined
Before you are slain
Just get up
Walk away

Only then
I promise
You will be safe

Stale fresh memories

2006-09-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

I still remember how it felt
And I feel it again-
The thirst, the hunger
But there is something new this time-
The emptiness, the anger

A swift smile, a dip of my head, and I'll be gone
Because I don't linger on the goodbyes
I wont linger on the goodbyes.

Dark Light

2006-09-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

Dreams came back to haunt
A refrain long dead unfolded
swirled around
A forgotten rhythm pounded in my heart

Slowly shattering the dark
Came a jeweled thought
crystal clear and twirling light
Say it, don't say it, say it, don't say it

All is calm now

Darkness once again
Silence all around

You in me

2006-07-22T02:14:00.000-07:00

Jostle for space in my mind
your faces
your voices
nameless, meaningless thoughts about you
all about you, everything about you
pictures I dare not articulate

There is this ache in my heart
a slow simmering fire
in that flame I burn
am forged, cleansed
and I emerge, born again

Touch me this once briefly
Do you know that you haunt me?
I want you so much to know me
and acknowledge me as your equal

We will meet someday, I am sure
and you would wonder how so much of you is in me
and I shall know and smile a secret smile

Until I meet you again, and again, and again...

Still gaze

2006-06-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

Took the world in the orbs of my eyes
Drank in the sight
It unleashed an unfamiliar throb in my heart
and filled it with a nameless hunger

Complete silence all around
A silence that spoke of life
A quietening down
Harmony all around

Quietness and solitude
a sweet ache
The sands of time stopped sifting
and for that moment I was alive

Take heart

2006-05-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

Take my heart in your hands
Squeeze it all you want to
It won’t stop bleeding.

I will hold your gaze unflinching
And you shan’t be able to see
What lies inside me
For I wont let the blood of my heart
Lend colour to my eyes

Even in the depths of your being
You will not admit
That you hate me for being so strong
For needing you so much, and yet
not needing you where it matters the most.

I’ll walk away under your gaze
Still tall and proud
Gather my heart in my palms
The blood will fall away
It won’t stop bleeding.

Lost

2006-04-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

Have you looked into my eyes lately?
Noticed that when I smile,
Shadows lurk in my eyes.

Would you know from my smiling face
The despair I conceal
Would you guess from my squared shoulders
The burden that I carry?

Its a road I've found myself on
a thousand times
Tried to change direction
But somehow all the paths
Lead down to the same road

Anywhere and nowhere
drifting along
With a vague sense of purpose
and great dissatisfaction

Wounded without having fought a battle
Struggled only with myself
I know, and yet I dont
What I am meant to be
Where I really should go

Anywhere and nowhere
That's where we all are going

This bitter truth is
the burden I carry
Emptyness shadows my eyes
and despair envelops me.

Captured

2006-04-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

The chains are clanging
Lord have mercy
Whose heart has been captured?
Lord have mercy

Who has gone by, touching my soul?
A storm has been stirred
Lord have mercy

Every moment, it is drawn across my eyes
a gleaming sword
Lord have mercy

Let not the blood from my heart spill from my eyes
Let it not be revealed
Lord have mercy

The chains are clanging
Whose heart has been captured?
Lord have mercy